Trashing down.

Its like, you were about to succeed. ut you decided to give up now. I don't know the reason why either.

Sometimes, seeing the things that you do, makes my heartache. Seriously.

Its becuase its seems like you never trusted me. Its because you think that i'm inferior, and i'm unable to do it on my own. Its because of all the stuffs you want me to know, want me to learn. Tuition were the very first things i had ever since i went into primary school not long later. Its not for one subject, but for all. For all the subjects. Primary and Secondary's different, the subjects that are being taken are obviously more. With the hours of tuition almost equivalent to the hours i spent in school, who's able to mention about homework. Homework can't be done, and there goes the nagging. Probabaly yes, you want me to do well. But no. Don't do this.  So many tuition, one for one subject. Imagine. I have twice the amount of homework people have to complete. Sometimes i can't cope, and i just give up like that. I'd rather just accept the reprimandings. What's up with the world? Seriously. Its one month left to O levels, and you wna increase the amount of tuition i'm gna have. Two hours more, per week. Maybe two hours more everyday after english Os are over.After Os are over, I'll just proceed on with As. And yes. Probabaly tuition again. I don't wna live a life like that. No, i seriously don't. But what can i do? You're my parents, i have to respect, I have to listen to. You never heared me of wanting tuition do you? No, not at all.

With the more amounts of tuition i'm having, the more pressure you're putting on me. Its like, you're demanding me to do well. I must do well. Its comfirmed. But when i do study, i do go for tuition, and my results are not what you're expecting. I'll get scolded. I mean, i understand why you scold me. Cos its the amount of money that you've put in, to invest in my studies. But wait. Don't exactly compare me with the people who don't have tuition, and do very well. Maybe its because they have all the time in the world to study more. To memorise more stuffs. But  i don't. I just go for tuition almost everyday. I'm sick and tired of them. Like seriously. Or maybe, those people are born smart, and are academically inclined. They can do it. It doesn't mean that i can do it. I have to put in twice the effort and stuffs. I don't know. I really don't.

I've improved in my studies, i'm supposed to be happy. But why aren't I? Maybe its becuase i feel that i let the teachers down, and i suck at my work. My results sucked. They are not of the same standard with ho much money you've paid to get people to help me. I never was once able to be happy with my results. I never was. Cos it seemed like, it just doesn't meet your expectations, it just throws my teachers face away, it just wasted your money away.